lesson of life

it's 3 after finishing part of the paper. review her posting, her friends added his comments. it seems this guy also have such experience, and i noticed everyone is feeling and doing more or less the same.

i dun have any mood for study for 2/3 of my undergrad. whenever i picked up the book i just wanted to cry. still i could handle all the courses without any failure and graduated with 2nd upper class honor. good or not? i dunno. my dream is to do a ph.d and do research in university, and my result did not allow such opportunity - at least not an easy, 'straight' path. if i have any subject failed, properly i'd recover whole alot faster, not after 2 years until i met dr. tam - a timeframe that lasted longer than the time we spent together. if i did m.phil, then no dr. tsang then no sinocdn then no japan trips then no so-net japan or hilton japan. there isn't a clear cut answer when dealing with life.

i've told dr. tam all about this, and i somehow asked a similar question: shouldn't i join CUHK instead of UST, a choice that she has the influrence? just like she asked as if to be a member of the cabin crew. human loves to look back and think if the outcome could be changed. when we are in love, we make decision with his / her in mind, from where to have dinner to which university to which job. when there is no longer love, ppl start to look back hoping to change, or to guess the '2nd version', or to blame.

still, things happened and these are part of our life. we make decision for a particular incident, be it the place of dinner or career choice. the break up just happened during the course of the incident in the same way, but the difference is that rarely happened during the course of a dinner, plus you won't blame for sth like 'why i choose to come to this restaurant?'.

there is no point in looking back, we're all here for present and future. decisions have been made, and they're part of us. you might hide but someday you have to accept it, it's the truth.

live your life, it's short. taste it, every bit count as part of you. it's about making the most out of what you have at THIS moment, not about what you COULD be.